What I say to my friends in NC...

This is the last half of a message I sent to my friend Josh in NC after a few weeks of waiting for him to respond to my 'What you up to?' message. I think it really epitomizes what I am and have been doing these last few months.
This message has also made me realize how much my family means to me. Even though my friends have become part of my (Jason Neumann's) family, the Neumann/Velazquez family is what keeps me going now and more than ever. Thank you.



Paragraph five:
School is like pulling nails; every damn time I think about it. I am doing well and all but it still drives me insane. I'm in general computer science right now and I am hoping to find my specific field this semester. I've been completely isolating myself except from all of my family since I have been up in Chicago. So no girls. I am trying to root out the roots of my problems through deep isolation. Even though I have found that I have no answers as of yet for my apathy, depression, and addiction; I still feel that my time has not been in vain. I feel that I have grown more now than I ever would have back in NC and that if there is at least a solution to my problems it will be found here. My evidence is my Incubus station on my Pandora I am listening to right now (Which is off the chain I might add, the thing reads my fucking mind). I haven't listened to music like I do now since I was 15. It is saving my life right now.

Nothing big has happened with me except Elizabeth Bisher visiting me for a weekend last December seeing if she wanted to live with me (Got a real mature 'I am getting back with deadbeat Nick so I'm gonna stick it out in nowhere Asheboro and not try to better myself) by form of not answering my calls. That is the answer for trying to help a friend with an opportunity to get away from it all. W/e.
Then Diesel came and we had enough fun together for six months even though he was only here for 1 week. For you, I think Sean is for you. For me, I have Diesel and Duncan. We all feel each others' pain, and I really feel it from Duncan and Sean. If I could clump us five into a group, they are the ones that need the most support right now. I just hurt and hurt for those boys right now.
After Diesel left I went to a hippy party with my Cousin Emily at her college and it was off the chain. I ended up throwing up at the end of the night several times due to a forced kegstand, but that is just proof that the night kicked ass. That is why I am happy with not finding new friends here yet and just sticking with my family: My family has really good connections and I want to become close to them again like I was before I moved to NC.
Not to say that NC was bad for me; I would not be alive today if I had not moved there (Straight up truth right there). It is just that I needed NC friends then and I need family now; even though I miss my friends like I fear cancer.

Postlude:
I miss you too Josh, along with all our other crazy friends. I hope to come down to NC before the summer (when I am definitively coming down) so I would really like to chill with you then in A-town. We need to share struggles. And if you guys ever want to visit the windy city, my place always has vacancy. There is nothing like traveling to make yourself new (The west coast gave me Elizabeth, Costa Rica gave me Shannon), so don't have hesitation if you want to use me for a place to crash when visiting Chicago. I love visitors.
Seriously though Josh, you just made my month. May I suggest that during this transitional period for you that you should blog about your endeavors. My cousin has made me start blogging. Partly for him to survive this part of his life; partly because he knows Neumanns have problems communicating and that blogging is an easy way to let it all out. So I will suggest that to you now in hope that you will communicate more, blogging or not, and grow because of it.


Stay in touch brother,
Frodo